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The trouble, of course, is that the boss may be in such a hurry that he or she skips overinformation that could make or break your career. “What you can learn in a performanceappraisal are things you may need, not just right now, but later on,” notes Bright. In herconsulting work, she has often been called in to counsel talented managers whose careershad hit a brick wall because of shortcomings and bad habits that a string of bosses had triedto warn them about for years。

当然，问题在于老板急于想结束绩效评估，便可能会略过一些事关你职业成败的信息。布莱特说道：“你在绩效评估中能够学到的东西，可能对你很有必要，不仅对现在，对你的未来或许同样重要。”布莱特在咨询工作当中，经常被邀请为一些才华横溢的管理者提供咨询，这些管理者的职业发展遇到了障碍，而原因则是一连串老板们曾经无数次警告过，但他们却一直没有改正的缺点和坏习惯。

So how do you get a grip on your emotions while you’re listening? Focusing on making yourboss feel at ease is a good start, since it automatically shifts your attention away from youremotions. Then, says Bright, “Remind yourself that you are the one in control here. How yourespond will determine how the discussion goes, and how much or little you get out of it。”The sense of panic you mention could be diminished, or dispelled, if you recognize thateven if you’re not saying a word, your role here isn’t a passive one。

那么，在倾听的时候如何控制自己的情绪?专心思考如何让老板感到放松，是个不错的开始，因为你可以自动转移对情绪的关注。然后，布莱特建议：“提醒自己，你是场面的掌控者。你如何应对，将决定讨论如何进行，以及你能从讨论中获得多大的收获。”如果你能认识到，即便自己不发一言，你也并非在扮演被动的角色，那么，你所提到的那种恐慌感便会减少甚至消失。

Next, concentrate on finding out what specific actions you need to take (or stop taking). “Make sure you know the difference between a fact and an opinion,” Bright suggests. “’Youwere $30,000 over budget on the XYZ project’ is a fact. ‘You don’t communicate wellenough with your peers’ is an opinion。” Since most bosses have had little, if any, training ingiving effective feedback, the two types of feedback may very well be tangled up together,but you can usually tell an opinion by how vague it is。

接下来，将注意力集中于自己需要采取的(或停止采取的)措施上。布莱特建议：“要确定自己清楚事实和意见之间的区别。‘你在某某项目上超出了预算30,000美元’是事实。‘你与同事的沟通不太理想’则是意见。”由于大多数老板几乎没有接受过如何提供有效反馈的培训，因此这两类反馈可能会被混为一谈，但意见往往是模糊不清的，因此通常易于分辨。

“Trying to guess what your boss wants won’t work,” says Bright. “People end up guessingwrong, and then they get another vague, critical opinion in their next review, and concludethat they can never please this boss。”

布莱特说道：“试图猜测老板想要什么是不可能成功的。人们最后往往都会猜错，而在下一次绩效评估的时候，他们又会得到另外一个模糊不清的批评意见，久而久之，他们会认为自己永远也无法让老板高兴。”

Instead, ask for particular steps that would solve the perceived problem. “For example, youmight suggest starting to ‘communicate better with your peers’ by updating them in personevery week instead of through an occasional email,” says Bright. Approaching this like anyother task you do at work, by coming up with a practical fix or two, should help take most ofthe emotion out of it。

相反，员工可以询问能够解决问题的具体措施。布莱特说道：“例如，你可以建议从‘与同事更好的沟通’开始，比如通过每周面对面的交流，而不是偶然的电子邮件。”要像解决工作中的其他任务一样解决自己的问题，提出一两条实际的解决方案，这样可以帮助你控制大部分情绪。