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新概念阅读:婚姻医生 情感护士助力解决婚姻亚健康

发布时间:2016-04-21 来源:新东方在线 发布人:

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Having been selected as a parents' representative at his son's primary school in Shanghai, Wang Huan was invited to make a speech at the opening ceremony for the new semester. As the owner of four companies, Wang, 40, is used to public speaking and handled his duties well. His performance won warm applause from the audience, including his 39-year-old wife and young son.

When he went back to his seat, 9-year-old Wang Xiaotian gave his father a close hug and a big kiss. "I am the happiest child in the world," said the little boy as he piled his parents' hands on top of his own.

Wang and his wife smiled at each other in a touching family scene that was observed with envy by many other parents.

In Xiaotian's eyes, his parents are a wonderful couple. Even after 10 years of marriage, they are always polite to each other and never quarrel, fight, or even raise their voices. However, the little boy has only observed a small part of his parents' relationship and is unaware of the stresses and strains on the relationship caused by an episode that almost led to divorce.

Wang's wife quit her job after giving birth, meaning that her husband had to provide for all the family's financial needs. He has given his family the best life he can afford, but his busy work schedule and the expansion of his businesses have inevitably led to him spending less and less time with the family, leading to an estrangement.

"I even found it hard to find topics that interested us both," said Wang Huan's wife. She applied to study abroad, hoping to rescue the situation by updating her knowledge and expanding her world view.

However, to her surprise, when she returned home full of hope 12 months later, she found a divorce application waiting for her.

Wang confessed that he had fallen in love with another woman, but his wife flatly refused to accept the divorce petition, despite the offer of a large sum of money as compensation.

Fearing that going to court would affect his son and his business, Wang turned to Shu Xin, a director of the online marriage guidance program Weiqing120 and head of the China Marriage and Family Counseling Center.

"Wang's case is very common nowadays," said Shu. "According to our research, more than 60 percent of marriages in China are in seriously 'poor health', a state of affairs indicated by the couples having nothing to say to each other, a lack of passion, extramarital affairs and frequent quarrels about trivial matters. Although people can maintain a troubled relationship, the trials and conflicts can accumulate to a toxic level and easily lead to the marriage collapsing."

Shu had long talks with the two women. He discovered that Wang's wife was a pleasant, elegant and knowledgeable woman, who still loved her husband. She was also deeply concerned about the possible impact on the boy if the divorce went through.

On the other hand, Wang's lover, in her early 30s, had no idea how to handle a small child or live with an extended family.

"I told Wang my thoughts on the two women. My words seemed to remind him of something and he murmured that he would think things over," said Shu. "To further help him make a decision, I asked the women to each write a letter containing the words they most wanted to say to him. Unsurprisingly, Wang was moved to tears after he'd read the letter his wife had written. He told me that they had been forced to overcome great difficulties to get married and had experienced many happy days in the past."

The story has a happy ending; Wang's lover agreed to end the affair, but only after he bought her a property.

"Thanks to Shu's help I made the right decision. Now I get on well with my wife, just like when we were first married. My son really enjoys the time we spend together," said Wang.

Shu said, "It's only when a marriage has descended to a level where there are no words to say and love and sex don't exist anymore, that I will pronounce a death sentence on it. After two decades of research, I realize that most divorces are avoidable, even if the marriage is deeply troubled."


40岁的王欢在今年三月被推选为学生家长代表在儿子新学年的开学典礼上发言。作为一个四家公司的负责人,见惯了大场面的他发言非常精彩,台下报以热烈的掌声,而这其中就有他的妻子李爽和儿子田田。

回到座位上他九岁的儿子田田给了他一个大大的拥抱,而且高兴的说自己是世界上最幸福的孩子。坐在爸妈中间的田田把他们的手握在一起放在自己的腿上,王欢和妻子对视而笑,这一幕让旁边很多的家长艳羡不已。

在田田眼中他的父母就是天生一对, 因为虽然已经结婚十年了但是他们依然相敬如宾,从不争吵甚至跟对方特别大声的讲话。但是田田不知道他可能只是注意到了爸爸妈妈关系中的一部分,并不知道其实他们也有过关系非常紧张的阶段甚至差一点离婚。

李爽在田田出生后就辞职做了全职太太照顾家和孩子,家里的所有开支都由丈夫负责。男主外女主内,一家其乐融融生活在上海。王欢的生意越做越大,公司也由一个变成四个,但与此同时他回家陪在孩子和妻子身边的时间却越来越少了。

李爽渐渐发现除了儿子,他们之间居然找不到都感兴趣的话题可以交谈下去。她觉得或许是自己长期在家与社会脱节导致的,为了缓解这种尴尬的局面,她申请去国外充电。

一年期满,正当她满心欢喜回国的时候,迎来的却不是丈夫的热情,而是一纸冰冷的离婚书。王欢承认他爱上了另外一个女人。

尽管王欢承诺只要李爽同意离婚他会给她一大笔钱作为补偿,但是李爽还是坚决不签字。

害怕闹到法庭会影响到孩子和自己的生意,王欢找到维情网负责人,中国婚姻家庭咨询服务研究中心主任,婚姻情感问题处理专家舒心老师帮忙。

“像王先生这种情况现在社会上很普遍。 据我们中心的统计数据显示目前我国60%的婚姻都处在严重的亚健康状态。这些家庭的夫妻双方“无话可说”或“缺乏热情”,出现婚外情,但又没有恶化到婚姻破裂的地步。其实这是一种潜在的婚姻危机,一旦处理不当便会导致家庭破。”舒心介绍说。

舒心分别跟李爽和另外那个女人进行了长谈。长谈之后舒心发现王欢的妻子好多方面其实都占优。说话得体、学历高、人很漂亮也很有气质,更主要的是她深深的爱着丈夫和孩子。而另一个女人显然也是陷入热恋之中,但是对未来特别是要当一个九岁孩子的妈妈毫无准备。

舒心说,他把自己对两个女人的看法完完整整的告诉了王欢。为了帮助他做决定,舒心还让两个人同时给王欢写封信里面是最想对他说的话。

“如我所料,王欢在看了妻子的信后哭着说我都忘了我们曾经有那么多美好的日子,我们走到一起多么不容易。”舒心说,“他们的结局不错,王最终选择回归家庭,给了女孩一套房子作为补偿。”

“我跟妻子又找回了刚结婚时的感觉。现在有空我们就一起出去玩,儿子特别喜欢我们三口在一起。”王欢说舒老师帮了他的大忙,让他的婚姻起死回生。

但是舒心认为,那是因为他的婚姻还没到非离不可的程度,他只是从中起到了润滑剂的作用。在舒心看来除了一个婚姻同时满足“无性”、“无爱”、“无话”的三个标准,绝大部分的离婚如果婚姻当事人通过科学咨询和服务干预后,其实都是可以挽救的。

众所周知,在新概念英语中有些课文内容都是五花八门包罗万象,而新东方在线新概念组的小编也是秉承着这一理念为同学们搜罗各种新奇、新鲜事和大家一起分享学习。

本文关键字: 婚姻情感


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