谁能在众目睽睽之下30分钟内写一篇7分左右的例文并且自己找出不足自己评出分值。。。这篇日志做到了。
下面的评分就是正常雅思作文的评分过程。各位参照四个评分标准看看自己的作文可以拿几分。
Some people think that in the morden society individuals are becoming more dendepent on each other，while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Mainly two views are presented on the relationship between people: those for and against codependent connection. In this essay, how people are related to one another will be further discussed. (29)
On one hand, people are becoming more and more dependent on each other. People need the comfort from others while facing a setback and people need to share happiness with others when certain things are achieved. For example, a student who failed an exam which he had been prepared for might not be able to handle it well all by himself. He needs someone to tell him that the only thing that mattered was that he tried and he would pass the exam if more efforts were made. Also, an employee who gets promoted after years of hard work in the company might not think it is a good idea to celebrate it alone at home. He needs friends to share the news and to witness how he has performed. (130)
On the other hand, some of them are no longer as connected as they were a few years ago because of the development of the modern technology. Lives in modern society are much convenient than in the past. People no longer have to go to stores to shop or get together with clients in order to maintain the relationship. Instead, people nowadays can do lots of things using modern technology like purchasing their favorite products online or having online meetings in front of cameras although the participants are far away from each other. People can apply to technology for help and they can be as far away from each other as needed. (113)
In my opinion, people, nowadays, are isolated from each other to some extent. Although occasional contacts are demanded, people can do most of what needs to be done using technology and still they keep a safe distance from each other. (40)
(313)
(30 minutes give or take)
TR 这种题目的结构属于送分类型。总体结构符合要求，每段字数没控制好，所以最后一段跟中间段比起来特别短（一般情况下是可以的，但是这种题型是不可以太短的）。评分：7.5
CC 连贯方面自我感觉很流畅。没有用太多没必要加的词也没有在该用连接的地方没有用连接。不过有一处后来想想其实还是应该加上去的。在第二段的第一句和第二句话之间。各位可以想一下应该加什么词，很简单的。评分：6.5-7
LR 词汇使用基本符合要求，但没什么大词，这个估计跟我最近天天泡在家里看美剧有关，口语表达层出不穷，写的时候要将脑子里的口语形式转找成书面形式，痛苦不已。评分：6.5
GRA 语法自然没有问题，语法从没有过问题，就算有问题也是手误。。。咳咳。不过没有问题只是很基本的要求，语法偏大众化，不华丽丽。评分：7
band 7
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